Burnley 2022 Match Report

Our trip to Burnley Golf Club (Originally, and appropriately called the Glen View Golf Club)

Apart from the Channel 4 Outside Broadcast vans in the car park on our arrival at Burnley Golf Club there was no clue as to what lay ahead. Someone thought they recognised one of the presenters from SAS: Who Dares Wins.

It did seem rather eerie stood on the first tee. The Pro Shop was open intermittently but where were the members? Are there any members? Does this course really exist or have we entered the 'Twilight Zone'?

As we craned our necks to work out where the first green was, there was some obvious gallows humour. Why couldn't we see the flag? Was it up in the clouds? Should Bill and Steve have a 2 shot penalty for using a buggy? Why were buggies not compulsory (and free)? Would Mike have to play his much loved 7 wood off the tee to get over the first ridge? How many 7 woods would it take Mike to reach base camp at the summit of the hill ? Little did we know that the first green was not the summit!

Anyway the 8 intrepid morning adventurers set forth. Only 2/8 blobs on the first which augured well but lungs were bursting; pulses racing and Mike already complaining that we were never going to play 10 holes in time for lunch and an early afternoon start (before the rain came in). What rain?

The beauty of playing the morning round is obviously familiarising yourself with the course and the greens. It was more important than ever here because seemingly most tee shots were played over marker posts. A journey into the unknown. The downside here was you'd scaled the equivalent of Pendle Hill, whilst in some cases, pushing a full set of golf clubs uphill on a trolley.

The 2 morning four balls played 10 holes. The first group was really a walk in the park for Marty P - 18 pts and only 1 blob. Frank was a distant second on 14 pts.
However these Highlands held no fears for a Scottish native. A blob free 23 pts including a birdie 3 on the 6th saw Paul Mac mop up in group 2 and win the overall in a canter, 3 under his handicap. Well done Paul.

18 combatants entered the draw for the afternoon. Alan Watson (24) was a late arrival and soon began to regret his decision. Of all the days to forget to put your battery in the car this was not it. He joined the two Martins and Peter C in the last group. All credit to Martin Cook, on his sabbatical from life on the Spanish Costa (del Sol), who on such a difficult course had no blobs and won the group with 28 pts.(he did however have 9 x 1 pointers!). This only confirmed what a tough gig it was out there. The only other thing worthy of note in this group was the flukey tee shot of Peter Corsby (26) on the 14th which robbed me of NTP. Did he hole the putt? Of course he did. 2 for 4 points for a double bit and a tenner. Did I hole my putt from 1 inch further away I hear you say? (Is that Frank I can hear sniggering?) No I did not. Did I get my bit? No, again. Unbelievable! Martin P. was back in Marty P. mode for the afternoon with 23 points.

No luxury of electric buggies in our three-ball. Frank shouldered his bag, whilst Tony and I were auditioning for the SAS. Tony (25) and I (28) survived to tell the tale but  6 blobs between us on the front 9 gave Frank a flying start and he never looked back. Well he was looking back most of the time actually as he was usually 50 yards plus in front of us after the drives. He was in true 'bombing' mode - full throttle!

On 10, a 327 yard par 4, he hit his drive 327 yards -  pin high. His delicate chip lipped out. Did he get his birdie? Of course he did. I had a 4ft birdie putt on the very same hole for a birdie bit. Did I hole it? Of course not. Did I hole the 3ft return putt for par. No! (I can hear Frank sniggering again).  He followed all this with a 334 yard drive on 12 leading to another par and 3 points. Frank was in full Frankie mode, all this leading to a very creditable 36 points overall. Surely that would be enough to seal the win.

Paul (29) couldn't keep his winning form from the morning up, although a back 9 of 20 repaired some of the damage. What a topsy-turvy  doubles game it was. Paul's partner Pete (the 20 h'cap one) contrived to have even more blobs than me on the front 9 (5) and they were 7 points behind after 9 holes against Andy and Steve F. Somehow they  turned it round and won the back 9 by 5, with just one blob for Paul and none for Pete. Andy was in fine form again with 32 overall and no blobs. He was also one of only two golfers to par the stroke 1, par 4,  5th hole. I'll let you guess the other one. Oh, Peter scored 23 points which probably means 21 h'cap next time.

The first group to finish was the 3 ball including the buggy boys, Bill (19) and Steve (30). No doubt Bill was driving around with a smug grin on his face and even had time to enjoy the view. Anyway it didn't do his golf any good, although if we'd only played the first and the last i.e. up the hill and down again (perhaps not a bad idea) he would have been the winner with 5 points.

Michael, our leader, in the guise of the Grand old Duke of York, was the unfortunate chap trying to keep up with the buggy. It's hard to say whether yomping up and down the hills of Burnley did him any lasting damage, because his score of 23 just reflected his current form. He keeps denying it but he seems determined to get to a 28 h'cap before his big (sorry, little) buddy Geoffrey (and Peter W.!) In fact if he'd played off a 28 h'cap today he would have been the joint winner (and probably lost on countback!).

Now if you're wondering what the SAS would have thought of a leader who went AWOL without fulfilling his duties and bonding with the troops in convivial surroundings after a life threatening campaign out on the moors then you're in the same camp as me. Never let it be said ....... again. Anyway, nice presentation Glenn.

Back to the golf. Only one group had 2 members with 30 plus points. Glenn(26) obviously had his mind on his speech and our current league leader Gareth (26) has obviously taken his foot off the gas, assuming a 12 point lead is more than enough to lift the crown. Paul F is lurking dangerously in 6th place in the league table and one more good score could see him in the final group at Bentham but today was not the day to be improving on your discard score. 30 points was good enough for 4th overall though.

That leaves only one. The other Glenn with 2 n's. I've tried hard to find a flaw in his round  (because I know you'd want me to) but failed. He had no blobs; he was level par for the par 3's; he had a birdie 2 on 11 and a birdie 3 on 15; he was NTP ON 11 and he had 37 points, to beat his h'cap  and improve  his discard score by 11, to launch himself into the final group at Bentham on current standings (well nearly!). His gross score of 77 was also the lowest of the day. Well played Glenn. All I can say is riches to Riches. (I bet nobody else had thought of that).

That's about it. What did we all think of the course? I may have seemed rather disparaging in the report but that view may have been coloured (can I say that?)  by being only one of three people who was pushing a trolley up hill and down dale. I was the only one to accomplish this feat for 28 holes!! (Apologies if I've forgotten anyone). Apparently Tony ,Alan and I have passed our initial training requirement for the SAS. Actually I thought the course was really challenging, but a fair test. There were some excellent holes and with motorised transport I could see it being quite enjoyable. The greens were in great nick.

Gareth is obviously still top of the leaderboard but Andy and Glenn (today's winner) have closed the gap today with 2 excellent rounds.

Needless to say there were a raft of handicap changes as a result of the maneuvers at Burnley GC as follows :-

Glenn Riches 9 to 8 (one game only!)
Jim Clayton 9 to 10
Glenn Wellard 9 to 10
 Mike Barnes 14 to 15
Pete Corsby 14 to 15
Alan Watson 16 to 17
Tony Robinson 19 to 20
Martin Cook 19 to 20
Pete Whiteside 20 to 21

See you all at Penwortham on the 1st September (Thursday).

Jim Clayton